Getting Over Ex – E. Jean Advice on Ending Obsession With Ex

Dear E. Jean: I’m 30 and admit to being a bit obsessive when it comes to men. Three months ago, my boyfriend broke up with me and made it clear he did not want me anymore. Since then, I’ve gone through various stages: Being Mad (sending hostile e-mails); Being Adorable (sending cute handwritten notes); Pretending to Be Friends (so I can win him back); etc. Last week, after he said he didn’t even want to be friends, I proceeded to go out, drink waaay too much, and call him and…

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Boyfriend Smokes Too Much Marijuana

Dear E. Jean: I had a brief affair with a musician this year and fell so deeply in love, I now have a huge problem. I work as a journalist, and I know I have no future with him and that I must stop. Yet I keep texting him to “Come over!” He told me that all the women he’s ever been with have complained about his bad habit of smoking pot every evening (and mornings, too, I think). I believed he meant that they left him because (as I’ve…

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I Don’t Know if It Was Rape or Assault—​but It was More Than Just Bad Sex

Had I been raped? I had bruises on my neck. They were turning purple and black and it had only been a few hours. My neck was sore and tight. I wasn’t sure what had happened or how to feel. The Tinder date I had gone on the night before left me feeling uneasy. It was a hook-up date, the kind that both parties agreed before meeting would be just for sex, no strings attached. He was attractive, with pale blue eyes, a chiseled jaw and body to go with…

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Asking Crush Out – E. Jean Advice on Asking Crush Out With Boyfriend

Dear E. Jean: I’m a guy. I recently ran into an old friend (and former colleague), and we made a date for drinks to catch up. I’ve always had a crush on her. Three years ago, I asked her out, but she declined because she had a boyfriend. Last year, we scheduled drinks (as friends), and her boyfriend vetoed it at the last minute. Should I ask if he’s comfortable this time? Or if he’s even in the picture? —Ethically Conflicted Advertisement – Continue Reading Below E.C., My Caballero: There…

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Rally Driver Gail Truess Career Interview

“This Woman’s Work” is an ongoing series meant to highlight how women in different industries are living their lives. We hope to show that there’s no one “right” way to succeed. There are so many ways, and so many different experiences. No matter your field or industry, there’s a high probability your day job involves a desk, a computer, and a lot of fluorescent lighting. Not so for Gail Truess, a rally car driver who won her national driving championship—the first by a woman—in 1999. Rally car races, unlike the…

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My Boyfriend Still Has His Ex-Fiancée’s Vibrator

Dear E. Jean: My boyfriend of three months just moved to a new place. When I visited, I commented on all the boxes everywhere, and he laughed and pointed out a vibrator on his coffee table. I was surprised and asked if he was making a joke. He wasn’t. I asked where it came from, and he said it was his ex-fiancée’s! Then he quickly added that it had been “cleaned and sterilized and is still fully operational.” Advertisement – Continue Reading Below I was flabbergasted. I tried to discuss…

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How to Stay Organized, According to 11 Really, Really Busy Women

Whenever a new year begins (hey 2018), it always feels like the right time to get your shit together. New year, new you! Make those resolutions, plan to drink those 8 cups of water, promise to get to meetings on time, pledge to be a more put-together human, etc. But then, slowly but surely, you remember that just because it’s a new year, that doesn’t mean anything about your personality has fundamentally changed. And perhaps you begin to wonder how all those people out there actually get everything done. Advertisement…

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8 Women On What It’s Like to Date in a Post-Weinstein World

Jan 17, 2018 Ever since the New York Times released its first report on Weinstein back in early October of 2017, the news has been flooded with high profile men who’ve been accused of sexual harassment. But the much-needed reckoning (or witch hunt, as some might call it) didn’t stop there. The conversation opened up. People began to grapple with whether you can love someone who’s been accused. They asked whether you can appreciate art created by someone who’s harassed others. They bonded and obsessed over a fictional New Yorker…

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How to Nail That Career Transition — Even If You’re Not Making One Yet

Intent on making 2018 your Best Year Ever? We can help with that, thanks to our Coach of the Month series. This January, Ellevest CEO Sallie Krawcheck will upgrade your financial health, teaching you how to make more money — and make the most of the money you have. If you’ve been waiting to make a career leap, wait no more. Krawcheck will help you navigate a job pivot with ease. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Which one of these women is you? I’ve been both: Perhaps you… went to…

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Getting Raise With Stingy Boss

Dear E. Jean: How do I talk my boss into giving me a raise? I’ve worked wonders for her small company, but she’s like a schoolmarm. Everybody must clean their desks, she double checks the smallest expenses, and she’s incredibly tightfisted. How do I get her to see my worth? —Getting Out My Begging Bowl Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Dear Begging: A raise? Forget it. She’ll only brush you off with, “It’s not in the budget.” Instead, insert your stiletto where’s she’s most susceptible—her bottom line. Say: “I know…

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I Let a Life Coach Re-Do My Dating Profile

There’s a scene from a movie in which a dude nicknames another character “Frances Un-dateable” and chases her all over town. He thinks it’s charming. It’s not. My girlfriends started calling me “Faran Un-dateable” after my boyfriend and I split. A year later, they still haven’t stopped. But that’s not the worst of it. That comes a little later, when I’m introduced to the very actor in the film who calls her un-dateable! We’re at a party. His friends are trying to set us up. He’s not trying to be…

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Dating App Ice Breakers – Interesting Opening Lines

One of the greatest pains when it comes to online dating is how to start a conversation with someone you’ve never met. It’s annoying, it’s awkward, and when you’ve had to do it thousands of times, it becomes boring. Yet that initial first impression still speaks volumes about a connection—perhaps even whether or not you have one. Silly, right? Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Dating apps like Sweet Pea are trying to solve this conundrum by helping users make more meaningful connections with their matches. There are a few ways…

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My Boyfriend Went to a Strip Club

Dear E. Jean: I have a horrific aversion to strip clubs. My feelings are so strong that even discussing this with my boyfriend brings me to tears. He does not frequent these places, but what bothers me is that he may be forced to attend one as a rite of passage before a future wedding in “honor” of friends’ vows-to-be. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below I cannot condone it! But I certainly don’t want to seem like the type of woman who forbids her husband or boyfriend from doing anything….

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Sweet Pea Founder Michael Bruch

Earlier this year, 27-year-old entrepreneur Michael Bruch started Sweet Pea, a dating app that aims to improve how we communicate with one another. If you are reading this on a smartphone, you may be rolling your eyes: There are, precisely, three hundred dating apps out there—all of which claim to have the same goal. But Sweet Pea, which soft-launched five months ago and officially goes live this month, is different. For one, there’s a much bigger focus on conversation. Profiles are detailed and extensive, users can browse for matches by…

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Height Shaming – E. Jean Advice on Being Called Short

Dear E. Jean: I’m a short girl. For some reason, everyone feels the urge to remind me of it. It’s exhausting; sometimes it even hurts. I don’t understand why I have to constantly hear: “Oh my God! You’re so short!” I know I’m short. Am I surrounded by people with the social skills of preschoolers? Please help me get over it, or suggest a comeback! —Love, A Gorgeous, but Short, Medical Resident Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Dr. Gorgeous, Take Pity: Where is your compassion? Where is your mercy? Show…

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Tennis Player Angelique Kerber Interview and Profile

Jan 10, 2018 Across various industries and worlds, there’s a goal that’s easily translatable: to excel. Great achievement—won through dedicated work and a determination to improve—has been associated with Rolex for generations, making the brand’s collaboration with ambassadors from a range of fields feel right. In an ongoing partnership with Rolex, we explore the journeys of these exceptional women. The world loves a prodigy. But when the pinnacle of a career is reached after years of grinding, hyper-focused work, the wait makes success even sweeter. One of tennis’ highest-ranked players,…

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Ex-Boyfriend Reconciliation – E. Jean Advice on Meeting Up With Ex

Dear E. Jean: I’m a pretty, smart girl who’s gone through shattering, horrible, tragic heartbreak because of a man I absolutely adored. After I spent half a year getting to know him, then a year and a half in the gawdawfullest part of the South trying to develop a relationship with him, he unceremoniously dumped me. I came to my senses, moved back to New York, and began a new career. My problem? He is flying in for business and has asked me to dinner. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below…

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Here’s How to “Do” Debt — and Still Invest

Intent on making 2018 your Best Year Ever? We can help with that, thanks to our Coach of the Month series. This January, Ellevest CEO Sallie Krawcheck will upgrade your financial health, teaching you how to make more money — and make the most of the money you have. This week, whether you’re looking into investing for the first time or just hoping to glean new insights, Krawcheck has the answers for you. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Debt is a fact of life — without it, many of us…

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My Husband Doesn’t Like Foreplay

Dear E. Jean: I’ve been married one week and my husband won’t caress me like he did before we were married. He says he’s now my “husband” and he has the right to just “stick it in.” He refuses to hug me or touch me, and after I tried telling him honestly what I wanted, he said, “You can’t force me to do it.” He’s a financial analyst on Wall Street, so he’s not stupid or sexually ignorant. —Too Premature to Consider a Divorce? Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Miss…

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Showing Interest in a Guy

Dear E. Jean: I’m 29 years old, and I still have no idea how to show a man that I’m interested in him. (No surprise: I’ve only had one actual boyfriend.) I maintain high standards regarding men showing me interest, but my subtlety in returning the interest (such as a Facebook like) is so subtle that it’s barely noticeable. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below How do I get better at this? There’s a new guy I’d like to start dating. I’d like to be his girlfriend. I’m not stupid. I…

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The Perfect: Winter Road Trip

Welcome to “The Perfect,” ELLE.com’s weekly roundup where we lay out exactly what you’ll need for the perfect outfit, shopping list, Saturday night, or whatever it may be. In a shopping landscape where the options are endless, consider it a complete snapshot of must-haves. Security lines and airport delays can make flying somewhere a drag, while an old-school car trip can live up to the idea that it’s all about the journey. From a ride so luxe you’ll feel like you scored a first-class seat to an outfit that’s comfortable,…

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Getting Promoted at Work – Do I Have to Brown Nose to Get Ahead?

Dear E. Jean: I recently turned to your column archive at ELLE.com to find what you suggest for getting promoted at work, because I can’t seem to catch a break in my career! But I question your advice to “suck up.” What if I’m diametrically opposed to sucking up? Does that mean I’m doomed to the lower ranks even though I’m talented, professional, and hardworking? Doomed because I refuse to be a fake kiss-ass? Really? When did actual skills and integrity become passé? Why should I have to suck up…

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Having a Rich Friend – E. Jean Advice on Keeping Up with Wealthy Friend

Dear E. Jean: I’m not the richest or most glamorous girl on the block. I’m not able to buy whatever I please on a whim, such as the Jimmy Choo bag I’ve been saving for, but I dress stylishly and receive lots of compliments. My best friend, whom I adore, means well, but she can drive me insane when she thrusts in my face the latest Gucci wallet she just bought. It causes me to feel inferior and to envy what she has. Not only that, I start to feel…

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How Do I Get My Mother-in-Law to Stop Trying on My Clothes?

Dear E. Jean: I have a delicate point of etiquette: Every year my mother-in-law tortures me during a three-week visit. I grant that she’s more accomplished and socially prominent than I, and is a better cook—but I will never give way to her in the fashion arena! Never! She tries on all my new things, and it never fails: She looks thinner and better in my wardrobe than I do. How can I stop her from trying on my clothes? —Need a Noncompete Clause Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Miss…

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YE$$$ ME: Your 2018 Money Guide

Intent on making 2018 your Best Year Ever? We can help with that, thanks to our Coach of the Month series. This January, Ellevest CEO Sallie Krawcheck will upgrade your financial health, teaching you how to make more money — and make the most of the money you have. This week, Krawcheck sets out guidelines for the most important financial milestones — from knocking out student debt to opening a 401(k) — with research-backed tips on when, and how, to hit them. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below I know it’s…

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Is Alimony the Last Feminist Taboo?

Last year, Andrea, 37, and her husband decided to end their marriage. It wasn’t easy. They’d been together for 17 years and had two small children. But over time, a collection of grievances and resentments had piled up under their marriage like tinder. Add to that the pressure of living in New York City: “Two working parents, no family nearby,” Andrea points out. “Things were bound to blow up.” Advertisement – Continue Reading Below For at least a year, the couple tried to reconcile their differences. They read books and…

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Why Will My Friend Help My Boyfriend Find a Job But Not Me?

Dear E. Jean: I set up my boyfriend with his dream job through a friend of mine from college. He told me she “helped him a lot with advice” and was “very supportive.” Well, a few days after he started the job, he broke up with me. Listen to what happened next: Now I’m looking for a job, applying at the same company, and my friend from college is totally ignoring me! Why? Advertisement – Continue Reading Below —Unemployed and Desperate Unemployed, my peach: Why? Because you’re overdrawn at the…

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The 5 Instagrams You Need to Take in Dubai

Looking for a vacation in 2018? Dubai is a great place to stop over—there’s incredible shopping and all the luxury spa treatments you could want to kick start your relaxation—or to visit all on its own. And if you go on an amazing trip but don’t post amazing Instagrams to make all of your friends back home jealous, did you even really go? Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Here are the spots you’ll want to make sure to capture for maximum vacation envy: The City Skyline: Dubai has some incredible…

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