Ask E. Jean: Looking for a Compliment

Dear E. Jean: Next to my boyfriend (who is overweight, balding, and mopey), I look like Halle Berry. Every chance I get, I tell him how smart, reliable, and honorable he is. And I mean every word of it—at his core, he is a very good man with many fine qualities. But he never returns the compliment. I’ve told him time and time again how important it is to me to hear he likes the way I look. He (finally!) mustered “I like your pants….” When pushed, he added: “You…

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Calling Friend Bridezilla – E. Jean Advice for Dealing With Scorned Friend

Dear E. Jean: Several months ago, I was chosen to be a bridesmaid along with some of my friends. The bride grew more and more unhinged as the wedding approached, and I made a joke about her “Bridezilla-ness”; she found out and kicked us all out. As ex-maids, we all felt terrible, apologized, and left her alone. Now four months after the wedding, she’s still sending angry, irrational, vicious messages to us on our work phones, cells, and office e-mails. What can we do? —Bride­zilla Basket Case Advertisement – Continue…

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My Boyfriend Is Judgmental About My Weight

Dear E. Jean: My boyfriend of two years, who has been chubby most of his life, has an incredibly hostile attitude toward overweight women. He makes rude comments when they’re out of earshot. I’ve spoken to him about it many times, but to no avail. I’m 5’7″ and a healthy 133 pounds. I suffered from anorexia in high school and am extremely sensitive about my appearance. He tells me I’m pretty, but recently he said he’d be hitting the gym before our vacation because “we’re going to be the fattest…

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How to Relax After a Stressful Day

Welcome to “The Perfect,” ELLE.com’s weekly roundup where we lay out exactly what you’ll need for the perfect outfit, shopping list, Saturday night, or whatever it may be. The only remedy to a long day of running and rushing is relaxing—no matter how you dice it. The preferred manner of unwinding differs per person, yet the end result should always be the same: a bit of bliss that lets you completely forget about the daily grind. 1 Comforter If your bed is a refuge from the storm of emails, meeting…

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“My Husband Fantasizes About Other Women”

Dear E. Jean: I’m a landscape designer, happily married for eight years. My husband is a really good man, and I’m not a possessive or jealous woman, believe me. But: He can become aroused only if he’s thinking of another woman and is able to orgasm only if he shouts out her name loudly. I have repeatedly told him that I don’t like it, but it makes no difference. Worse, the women he fantasizes about are sometimes people I know well. I’m totally into sexual experimentation, but this is ridiculous!…

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Memoir About Gary Wilensky Tennis Coach Who Stalked Children

In the spring of 1993, Gary Wilensky, a Manhattan tennis coach, concocted a bizarre plan to kidnap one of his teenage students. He stalked her for weeks, amassing a cache of disguises and weapons, and outfitted a remote cabin in the woods with restraints and security devices in preparation for her abduction. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below At the time, I was one of ‘Gary’s Girls’—an unofficial club of young tennis player whom the 56-year-old coached. Over the years, Gary had built a reputation, particularly among privileged prep school students…

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Why Do I Stay Up So Late When I’m Exhausted?

Dear E. Jean: When I’m at work, all I want to do is go home and sleep. After work, when I go out with friends for dinner, I’m so tired I almost dip my head into my plate. But the moment I’m home and can go to sleep, all I want to do is listen to music, play on the computer, write, create, stay up to 3 a.m. and do anything but sleep! I’m clearly exhausted, so why do I stay up and kill myself like this? —New York at…

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Victory Boyd Interview and Profile

Apr 24, 2018 The quick notes on Victory Boyd’s nascent career read like a classic discovery story: She performed alongside her family regularly in New York’s Central Park, delighting tourists and New Yorkers from their spot at the Bethesda Fountain, until one day JAY-Z and Roc Nation magically swept in, gave them a record deal, and forever changed their lives. While life-changing stuff is certainly on the horizon (a new single is dropping on May 11 for starters), Boyd has a smart outlook on the whole “being discovered” thing that…

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Can I Choose My Best Friend to Be My Maid of Honor Over My Sister?

Dear E. Jean: My twin sister is rude, obnoxious, condescending, and uses any opportunity (public or private) to vent about how I’ve “let her down,” never buy her presents, etc. It’s embarrassing and hurtful. She now includes my fiancé in her barrage of cruelties. When I’m around her, I am generally anxious and upset. So, is it totally breaking all rules of etiquette to pass over my twin and ask my lifelong best friend to stand as maid of honor in my wedding? Advertisement – Continue Reading Below I’m a…

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My Friends Keep Rescheduling On Me

Dear E. Jean: Friends seem to be drifting away. I contact them and suggest we meet for drinks or dinner, and they usually reply with, “Oh! I’m not in town that day.” Or, “Gosh! I’ve got a ton of work that week!” Then, when I ask if I should just let them alone, they act surprised! What does all this mean? I don’t know if I should give up on them or not. —What Would Emily Post Do? Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Miss Post, My Parsley: A while ago,…

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Are These Signs He Likes Me?

Dear E. Jean: There’s this guy I like at my company, and I’m not sure he likes me in return. Here are the facts: 1. He teases me. 2. He starts conversations with me that are not necessary. 3. He touches my back sometimes. 4. He cooked me dinner twice. 5. When I compliment other male coworkers in front of him, he says my compliments are wrong. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below 6. When I told him he was not strong enough to lift me, he carried me halfway to…

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Is It Okay for My Husband to Stop Working?

Dear E. Jean: I am not a traditional woman. I like being the breadwinner and go-getter in our marriage. I make a very generous salary and take pleasure in my career, and I realize that my dilemma is a privileged one, E. Jean, but I struggle with feeling that I always “wear the pants.” A man taking care of me turns me on. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below My husband is kind, generous, loyal, tender-hearted, and quite handsome. But he is also timid and not one to speak up or…

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How Do I Get Over My Shame About My Appearance?

Dear E. Jean: I haven’t worn a dress or high heels in seven years. I haven’t even put on a pair of flattering jeans. I know how to shop and I have ideas on what to wear, but I’m the mother of a seven-year-old son with autism and the caregiver to my mother, who is an amputee and has end-stage renal disease. I have been in the mommy hole since the birth of my son. At night, I dream about starting a successful blog for larger women like me, but…

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I’m 29, Single, and Love My Life. Is It Bad That I Don’t Want to Date?

Dear E. Jean: I’m a 29-year-old single, straight woman living in the big city. I have been lucky and have found great financial success and personal fulfillment in my career. I own my own home and have fantastic friends. I find that as the years go by, I’m less and less interested in dating, finding Mr. Right, having children or being married. I’m blissfully happy living alone, sleeping alone, being alone. Am I screwing myself for the future? —Loving My Life Advertisement – Continue Reading Below My Luv: You are…

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I’m Married But Falling in Love With My Personal Trainer

Dear E. Jean: I love my husband, but he’s so focused on making money and is so depressed, anti­social, and controlling. We haven’t had sex in five years. I am happy-go-lucky and artistic, enjoy people, and have embarked on a self-improvement plan. I’ve hired a personal trainer and started working out. The trainer is much closer to me than my husband is—we have lunch, talk deeply, laugh, and act silly together. The upshot is I’m falling in love with him. My husband won’t see a counselor and I’m afraid of…

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Should I Try to Forgive My Lying, Cheating Boyfriend?

Dear E. Jean: I’ve been dating a great-looking, thoughtful guy for four months. He tells me he loves me, and I believe him. I recently posted a picture on Instagram of the two of us, and his ex left this comment: “I had sex with him 2 days ago.” When I confronted him, he said she was lying—but then later admitted he’d slept with her “a handful of times” and began incessantly apologizing, saying he was a “cad” and a “coward” and an all-around “bad person.” Much as I hate…

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My Rich, Lonely Mother-in-Law Is Trying to Control My Life

Dear E. Jean: My new husband’s mother is very rich and very bored. She lives in the country. We live in the city. She has offered to buy us a house, but only if it’s in a spot she approves (i.e., rich, white, Republican). So we’ve gone house hunting and found an awesome Dutch colonial. But now she’s using the money she’s going to give us to buy the house to manipulate how we live our lives. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below For instance, I have travel perks with my…

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Ask E Jean – My Mom Moved In

Dear E. Jean: I’m 23, recently bought my first house, and my mother moved in. I pay all the bills. In return, she orders me around like I’m a child and insists I come home every night before one! Do I have to listen to this?—Mom’s Little Cash Machine Cash, my dear: No young lady over the age of seven listens to her mother. (Hell, it takes 30 or 40 years of scalding emotional labor just to get her voice out of your head.) Tell her, “Ma, I love you;…

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The Perfect: Feel-Good Swaps

Welcome to “The Perfect,” ELLE.com’s weekly roundup where we lay out exactly what you’ll need for the perfect outfit, shopping list, Saturday night, or whatever it may be. In a shopping landscape where the options are endless, consider it a complete snapshot of must-haves. There’s a definite spectrum in terms of life changes. The majors—moving, switching career paths, finding a life partner—are obvious, but the smaller ones can feel not as important. Little changes and swaps can add up to something substantial though, hence our highlighting some good-for-you substitutions to…

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I Tried Wearing Racy Lingerie for My Boyfriend, and It Went Horribly

Hello, Miss E. Jean: My boyfriend had been asking me if I owned any racy underthings, so the other evening I surprised him and appeared in a sexy corset, stockings, etc. But the night did not go as planned. He was definitely surprised, and he seemed to like it; however, he soon began saying he “didn’t feel well,” and added his “stomach pain felt like nerves,” and, well, that was that for the night. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below The next morning, he didn’t even make a move to seduce…

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The Happiness 100-Day Planner Review

THE EDITOR Senior beauty editor Kristina Rodulfo THE LOVE The Happiness 100-Day Planner, $30 BUY NOW Nothing beats the satisfaction of putting pen to paper. While all the writing I do as an editor happens on a computer, I’m still a huge fan of old-school to-do lists and prefer brainstorming ideas on paper. The many notebooks I’ve collected have done overtime playing host to my lightbulb moments, meal logs, dreams, and sad attempts at bullet journaling, but none of them have been as gratifying to use as The Happiness Planner….

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How Do I Learn to Have Fun?

Dear E. Jean: Do you have a guide to having fun? I’m 26. I think I’m missing out. I speak five languages, keep fit, eat healthy, volunteer, and work. I work a lot. And I feel miserable because I don’t know how to have fun. If someone invites me for drinks, I don’t see the point. Why should I waste two hours chitchatting when I could just go home and read, cook, and take a bath? Advertisement – Continue Reading Below I actually love cooking, reading, and knitting. I do…

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Sex Has Always Been Really Painful for Me

Dear E. Jean: I’ve been plagued by painful intercourse my whole life. I’ve tried physical therapy, hormones, creams, you name it. This pain has been instrumental in the breakup of my last two relationships. To top it off, I’m in early menopause at the age of 37, so there is literally nothing happening down there anymore. Do I even bother dating? And at what point do I have to alert my suitors that sex is painful for me? Does it need to go on my Tinder profile? —Should I Just…

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Where Do You Find Decent Men to Date in Your 60s?

Dear E. Jean: I’m 5’9″ and a size 6; I look great in clothes, lift heavy in the gym, jump rope between sets, have at least one orgasm a day, play the Brazilian drums, and started a fun new business in the Hamptons two years ago. I also ended a long relationship last year. So I’ve started to look around, and I’m beginning to realize my romantic prospects are dismal! Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Why? I’ve just hit 60. (That number sounds horrible even to me.) My Tinder “matches”…

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The Perfect: Spring Cleaning

Welcome to “The Perfect,” ELLE.com’s weekly roundup where we lay out exactly what you’ll need for the perfect outfit, shopping list, Saturday night, or whatever it may be. Often referred to as the season of rebirth and freshness, spring is the just-right time to clean up your home space. Out with the old, in with the new, and organize what you’re keeping. 1 Coffee Table You see the stuff you live with every. single. day. As such, get rid of the broken or worn out, and invest in pieces that…

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I Want a Relationship, but My Past Hookups Keep Haunting Me

Dear E. Jean: I’m a first-year associate at a big New York law firm and work 60 to 70 hours a week. This means my social life is squeezed into basically two nights, so when I’m out at a club with a guy I have a crush on and I start getting texts from guys I used to hook up with (or never want to hook up with) about getting together, this reminds me that I can’t make any relationship last more than a month and makes me think I’ll…

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Five Bottles of Rose to Try in Winter and Early Spring

1 of 5 Courtesy of brand 2016 Guigal Cotes du Rhone Rosé TRY IT Advertisement – Continue Reading Below 2 of 5 Courtesy of brand Martini & Rossi Sparkling Rosé TRY IT Advertisement – Continue Reading Below 3 of 5 Courtesy of brand Advertisement – Continue Reading Below 4 of 5 Courtesy of brand Moet & Chandon Imperial Rosé Champagne TRY IT Advertisement – Continue Reading Below 5 of 5 Courtesy of brand 2009 Moet & Chandon Grand Vintage Brut Rosé Champagne TRY IT Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Advertisement…

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I’m in Love With Three Women

Dear E. Jean: I’m a guy in love with three women. First, there’s my second ex-wife. We had the greatest sex and tons of fun, but we also fought over everything and nothing. She’s living with a guy, but she recently confessed that she’s not happy, that I still do it for her, and that she’d like to “try again.” And let me say, she’s the best-looking woman I’ve ever been with. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below My current girlfriend can be a serious ballbuster, but the sex is damn…

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