My Boyfriend Makes It Impossible for Me to Save Money

Dear E. Jean: I’ve got a money problem, and I’m really ticked right now. While I toil away at my just-out-of-college first job, my boyfriend, who has been working for four years, makes a lot more money than I do. I’m trying to stick to a budget, but my boyfriend makes it hard. I’ve cut back on shopping (it nearly killed me), and now I’m cutting back on expensive restaurant meals. But every night he wants to go out for dinner! Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Even though I say,…

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My Boyfriend Makes It Impossible for Me to Save Money

Dear E. Jean: I’ve got a money problem, and I’m really ticked right now. While I toil away at my just-out-of-college first job, my boyfriend, who has been working for four years, makes a lot more money than I do. I’m trying to stick to a budget, but my boyfriend makes it hard. I’ve cut back on shopping (it nearly killed me), and now I’m cutting back on expensive restaurant meals. But every night he wants to go out for dinner! Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Even though I say,…

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I Speed Dated 4 Bachelor Stars

It’s easy to find a dress you love at Lord & Taylor, but finding actual love? That’s a different level of retail therapy. Still, the shopping gods just tried to play cupid in Manhattan, coupling with relationship app The League—and various Bachelor/Bachelorette heartthrobs—for a night of take-your-chances speed dating. And somehow, ELLE.com got recruited for the crush-fest. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Below, the true transcripts of four forthcoming reality stars. None seemed to be this reporter’s soul mate, but Lord & Taylor has some sole mates, too. Those seem…

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I Speed Dated 4 Bachelor Stars

It’s easy to find a dress you love at Lord & Taylor, but finding actual love? That’s a different level of retail therapy. Still, the shopping gods just tried to play cupid in Manhattan, coupling with relationship app The League—and various Bachelor/Bachelorette heartthrobs—for a night of take-your-chances speed dating. And somehow, ELLE.com got recruited for the crush-fest. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Below, the true transcripts of four forthcoming reality stars. None seemed to be this reporter’s soul mate, but Lord & Taylor has some sole mates, too. Those seem…

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Ask E. Jean – The Benefits of Sleeping Alone

Dear E. Jean: I recently started to see a man who’s wonderful and so right for me in nearly every way. But he cannot fall asleep in the same bed with me! He says he “can’t sleep” with someone next to him. He’s so snugly, so affectionate, and good at the things one does in bed when we’re not sleeping, but every time he’s here and with me he ends up leaving in the middle of the night! I know this isn’t normal, and he has tried (he even fell…

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Ask E. Jean – The Benefits of Sleeping Alone

Dear E. Jean: I recently started to see a man who’s wonderful and so right for me in nearly every way. But he cannot fall asleep in the same bed with me! He says he “can’t sleep” with someone next to him. He’s so snugly, so affectionate, and good at the things one does in bed when we’re not sleeping, but every time he’s here and with me he ends up leaving in the middle of the night! I know this isn’t normal, and he has tried (he even fell…

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How Should I Handle My Surprise Pregnancy When the Baby’s Dad Is Horrible?

Dear E. Jean: I’m in a very tense situation that needs prompt attention. I recently found out I’m pregnant by a man I’d been dating for two months. Obviously things had moved very fast after he declared his love. But then he began to reveal himself: borrowing money from me, stealing my credit card, and erupting in anger at people in my life. Complicating matters further, I am recovering from thyroid cancer and facing some serious health issues. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below But when I first saw the pregnancy…

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How Should I Handle My Surprise Pregnancy When the Baby’s Dad Is Horrible?

Dear E. Jean: I’m in a very tense situation that needs prompt attention. I recently found out I’m pregnant by a man I’d been dating for two months. Obviously things had moved very fast after he declared his love. But then he began to reveal himself: borrowing money from me, stealing my credit card, and erupting in anger at people in my life. Complicating matters further, I am recovering from thyroid cancer and facing some serious health issues. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below But when I first saw the pregnancy…

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Ask E Jean – My Boyfriend Cheated On Me and Wants To Get Back Together

Dear E. Jean: I gave up my shot at law school because my boyfriend promised me marriage. Then, just before we became engaged, I found out he cheated on me (several times!) and I broke up with him. Nine months have passed, and we recently ran into each other. He told me that four months after we broke up, he proposed to this woman with a three-carat diamond ring he was going to present to me. I was shocked! But I congratulated him. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Now he’s…

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What’s the Best Course of Action After Being Fired?

Dear E. Jean: What’s the best course of action after being fired? With six great years at a company, I was canned because I played a practical joke. (I hid my supervisor’s glue stick. Yes. It’s utterly ridiculous.) The supervisor, who I thought was my friend and someone I could joke with, decided to make a big deal out of it and took it to the department manager. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below The manager, unfortunately, was dealing with a death in her family, had never liked me, and had,…

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Can I Ask Him Not to Have a Bachelor Party?

Dear E. Jean: Help! I don’t want my guy seeing, admiring, or being turned on by other naked women! Do I have to accept that my fiancé will attend a bachelor party? E. Jean: Yes. Because if you tell him no, he’ll just lie and go anyway. But honestly, I’m sick of women feeling like they have to be okay with this seedy, stupid ritual so as not to appear controlling or uncool. I’d like us all to go totally gangsta, stand up, and shout at our chaps, “You’re not…

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How Do I Get My Boyfriend to Spend Less Time With His Mom?

Dear E. Jean: How do you wean a boyfriend from his mother? We’ve been together six years. Our relationship’s in good standing, but he’s 27, he just moved out of his parents’ house, and he still clings to his mother, lunching with her often and spending every weekend with them (which she guilts him into—easy to do because he has no practice being on his own). I just want to spend a Sunday alone with him! —Mama’s Boy’s Babe Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Boy’s Babe: Rent a candy-apple-red convertible,…

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My Boyfriend Can’t Have Sex Without Viagra

Dear E. Jean: My new boyfriend could not be more perfect on paper. He’s a 35-year-old physician, has no kids, has never been married, loves antiques shopping, baking cheesecakes, and pulling off the most elaborate romantic dates (when we missed a meteor shower one night, he actually lit fireworks over the house). He is really perfect. There is only one slight problem. He cannot keep an erection unless he uses drugs like Viagra. He says he doesn’t take a whole one, just a quarter of one because sometimes he needs…

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What Do I Need to Start My Own Business?

Dear E. Jean: It’s finally time to put my idea to work. I want to create a fragrance to be sold as a perfume. I’ve done the research on the scents (two from fruit, one from a flower). I have grown up with these delightful aromas in my backyard, and I would like to use them in a dramatic concoction, approach a company, and sell them the idea. I don’t want to fail! What do I need to start? I’m not smart about these things! —Scents-ible Girl From Florida Advertisement…

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My Husband Is Sleeping with My Mother

Dear E. Jean: My mother is an attractive, interesting woman who reads ELLE and The Economist, dresses fashionably, and maintains a petite size 2 frame. Recently, I found out that my 39-year-old husband (of 14 years) has been having sex with her when he attends conferences at the resort near where she lives. When he told me, I was bothered by the fact that it didn’t bother me. Advertisement – Continue Reading Below He’s a wonderful man—father to our two children and a good provider—and he’s always taken care of…

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Having a Work Wife Makes You Better at Your Job, Study Says

Shutterstock20th Century Fox/ Anyone with a work BFF knows there’s so much more to it than taking turns on the coffee run. And now science is acknowledging the importance of having a work spouse: according to a study, work friends are apparently one of the most crucial factors to overall success and happiness in your job. Giphy Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Strong friendships in the workplace boost everything from general health and well-being to day-to-day productivity and positivity. A 2014 report from Gallup showed that while 70 percent of…

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How to Tell My Husband I Want to Have Sex with Another Woman?

Dear E. Jean: I’m a happily married thirtysomething woman with a very satisfying sex life. However, I want to try sex with a woman. Not a specific woman—in fact, better for it to be completely anonymous, as I don’t want a relationship or any kind of ongoing “thing.” I just want to try it out. The problem is: I don’t want my husband involved, as he’d act like a 14-year-old boy about it. I love him and he’s awesome, but I just want a one-off, private experiment. —How Do I…

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Ask E. Jean – My Boyfriend Is Bad In Bed

Dear E. Jean: Grab a box of Kleenex. This is a sad one. My guy of three years is funny, smart, stable, and bears a striking resemblance to George Clooney—but he’s a bit of a bore in bed. I feel you can’t teach an old dog new tricks (he’s 37), so since everything else is perfect, should I let this slide? My life is in your hands. No pressure. —He’s Vanilla, I’m Rocky Road Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Rockey, Honey: Phoo. Just tell the old geezer what you want….

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Is My Vibrator Ruining My Sex Life?

Dear E. Jean: I’m 28 and I think I may be addicted to my vibrator. It provides bliss 10 or 11 times in a single hour; but a man? It takes forever. I’m concerned on several levels: Is it blocking my ability to have meaningful relationships with guys? And my own body—am I burning it down to a little unresponsive nub? Am I doing it too much? I’m worried, so I only do it every two weeks. Am I destined to hum myself to sleep alone for eternity?—Creating Buzz Advertisement…

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I Hate My Nose Job

Dear E. Jean: I am in one helluva predicament! About a year and a half ago, I was hit in the face by a tennis ball, and it created a permanent lump on the tip of my nose, making it look wider and uneven. Most people didn’t notice, but it really bothered me, so about five months ago I decided to have it fixed by a plastic surgeon. I went to a triple-board-certified plastic surgeon who has won awards, and who assured me the fix would be “minor and subtle…

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I’m a D-List Celebrity Who Hasn’t Had Sex in Nearly Four Years

Dear E. Jean: I’m a D-list celebrity who hasn’t had sex in nearly four years. I’m not a prude. I’m bright, 35, divorced, don’t look terrible, have nice haircuts, get manicures, go to the gym—although I’m not obsessed with appearances either. I’m not 100 percent sure why it is that I haven’t had sex, but I’ll give you my best guesses: Advertisement – Continue Reading Below First, I’m kind of famous. That makes it difficult to use dating apps. Second, I’ve had a public fall from grace, and I’m worried…

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My Fiancé Is Wasting Our Wedding Fund

Dear E. Jean: Three months ago, my handsome fiancé walked away from his high-paying career. I’m trying to plan our wedding, but most of my wedding fund is going toward supporting him while he’s out with friends playing golf! He’s a wonderful man—I’m just so confused! E. Jean: A man paid to play golf by a woman with a large wedding fund does not a good groom make. Cut off the money. Call off the wedding. Give the bloke a chance to pull himself together and change careers. Then think…

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Clingy Friend – E. Jean Advice for Handling Dependent Friend

Dear E. Jean: My friend had a bad breakup last year and needed a place to stay, so I took her in, loaned her money, brought her on trips, and counseled her for many hours on the phone. I’ve tried to get her back on her feet, but she sticks to me like a leech! She calls with all her problems and gets very emotional if I don’t return the call. I’m a woman with a busy career, a marriage, a family, and lots of friends, and she’s becoming really…

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Am I Engaged to the Wrong Guy?

Dear E. Jean: I’m engaged to the sweetest, nicest, most wonderful guy who worships me. But I always saw him as my backup plan. Now that we’re living together I panic every time I think about setting the wedding date. I just turned 30 and my family is worried I’ll lose my youth and looks (and potential to find someone else) if I don’t make a decision now. Is this cold feet? Should I marry him, or move on?—Frozen Tootsie Advertisement – Continue Reading Below My Tootsie Wootsie: The choice…

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I Moved to a Tourist Destination. Now My Friends Are Treating My Place Like a Hotel

Dear E. Jean: I recently moved to a beautiful and, unfortunately, popular spot for tourists, and now friends (and friends of friends) are constantly visiting. I’ve ended up paying for their parking, their gas, their laundry soap, their groceries. They don’t even seem interested in me or how I’m doing. They just drop their bags, dirty my fresh towels, and borrow my car! How do I accept visitors into my new home without ending up as their personal valet service? —The Tourist Attraction Advertisement – Continue Reading Below Attraction, My…

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Ex-Boyfriend on Dating Show – How Do I Deal With an Ex on a Dating Reality Show?

Dear E. Jean: My newly ex-boyfriend, whom I dated for four years, is “looking for his soul mate” on a popular reality show. His episodes are in constant reruns, so my phone rings with friends, coworkers, and family members who “just saw Jim!” (not his real name) and ask why we split up. The true story is a nightmare: His “best friend,” who used to stay with us for months at a time, was actually his male lover, his ex-girlfriend turned out to be a transvestite, and he cruised and…

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Do We Owe Partners Our Stories of Assault, Harassment, and Abuse?

When I start seeing someone new, I like to play something I call The Baggage Game. Inspired by the gloriously tacky dating show Baggage on the Game Show Network—hosted by Jerry Springer, which should tell you everything you need to know—it works like this: Each of you shares a small, medium, and large piece of emotional “baggage” that you would bring to the relationship. At the end of this exchange, you both decide whether or not you can accept the other person’s issues and proceed as necessary. Advertisement – Continue…

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I Ate Only Pasta for a Week and I Thrived

Go ahead, open any social media app, what do you see? A meme about failed resolutions? A political rant? Fit Tea (#spon)? For me, as the festering year that was 2017 came to a close, I noticed an uptick in detox posts. Friends, family, and social media strangers were extolling the benefits of cleanses and fasts that would Kirakira+ their bodies, minds, and balance their gut flora. All of a sudden, 2018 was shaping up to be the year of intermittent fasting, gluten-free diets, dairy-free Halo Top, and taking down…

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